Sacrifice
by Lady Merlin
Summary: Jim sacrifices something for Spock. Fluff and thoughtful thinking ensue. It's serious with a hint of humor, intended to show a soul-deep love b/w two men. That's slash. Rated for some mature mentions. R&R appreciated.


The Shortest Love Story In The World

_There was a man and a woman who had little but the clothes on their backs, and they loved each other deeply. The woman's most prized possession was her long golden tresses, and the man's most prized possession was his grandfather's gold watch. But the woman had no combs to keep her hair, and the man did not have a chain to hang his watch. _

_On the day before their fifth anniversary, they decided to go out and buy each other a gift, however they could. They both knew it wasn't necessary, but they wanted to. _

_The man went out and came back with a packet, and the woman came back wearing a cap over her head. The man gave her the packet and she unwrapped it. _

_Inside were two beautiful golden combs for her long hair. _

_She smiled and tears came to her eyes, and she gave him a packet, containing a gold chain for his watch. Then she took off her cap and he saw that she had cut her hair and sold it to buy the chain for him. _

_And he cried because he had sold the watch to buy the combs for her. _

Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Just something I wanted to share.

Uh. This fic is established-K/S. Jim and Spock are LOVERS. There is mention of gay sex. That's man-on-man love. Simple solution to Homophobia: don't read this.

It's fluffy. And uhm. Long? Please be happy? Oh heck care. Go easy on me. I'm desperate to get something out (I swear, I have sixteen ideas which I can't write at the moment). Just review away, yeah?

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Spock had been away for four weeks and three days now; Jim had been loathe to loan his first officer to some organisation for some research project, and was looking forward to seeing him again. But more than he hadn't wanted to let go of his first and science officer, he hadn't wanted to let go of Spock, who had been his lover for the past few (seven) months (and four days). And in his absence, Jim had come up with something to welcome him back.

Bones said that half the ship (read: everyone) knew they were together, and everyone (seriously, read: everyone) was overjoyed for them. But he still didn't like the idea the people knew about this secret-most-private relationship, and no, it didn't have anything to do with the fact that he was possessive. Or jealous. He was neither.

But whatever. He has missed Spock, and he has a present for their seven-month-and-four-days anniversary.

They go through the rituals of beaming him back, the warm smile which fails to express the most important thing; that he's missed Spock, _damn_it, and the dark smooth eyes that melt his knee joints or something which told him that Spock has missed him just as much.

But the moment they reached back to Jim's (their) quarters and the door slid shut, Spock presses him firmly up against a wall, kissing him soundly not allowing him to make a sound. When he pulls back after several flustered, hot, wet, erotic moments, Spock is breathing heavily (never as undignified as to pant) and Jim shamelessly panting into the crook of Spock's neck, pressing in a few kisses.

They both know how this night will end, and they look forward to it, but Spock pauses. Jim grins, and doesn't speak. He was banking on Spock's powers of observation.

"You taste..." Spock trails off, obviously thinking about how ridiculous he sounds, and then continues anyway. If they break up and never kiss again (oh! Please no!) Jim will be happy that he has taught Spock to never be ashamed of feelings, because damnit, Spock feels more than any human he knows. "You taste different."

"Yes?" Jim prompts patiently.

"You taste of... You do not taste of meat."

And this has been one of the most important things in their relationship. Jim is a tactile guy, and to be honest he loves kissing. Especially Spock, don't forget that. He likes kissing Spock. And Spock's a vegetarian. And Jim likes meat. Especially steak and stuff. And you can see where the problem comes in, because Spock has never really said anything to Jim, never even complained. But through the mental link they share, formed because of too many melds in the line of duty, Jim can tell that he's just a wee bit grossed out by Jim's love for meat.

There's a simple solution: Don't eat meat anymore.

Yeah Jim likes it, but it's just a food, and this is _Spock_ they're talking about. Meat is just a habit, and Spock is a necessity, as much as air or water. And it's only (to borrow a phrase) logical to give up one to make the other stick around for as long as possible.

Because honestly, Jim hasn't thought about it; doesn't know if he can even stand thinking about it, let alone if he can survive it actually happening, but he doesn't know what he'd do if he and Spock broke up. Because he's never felt as loved, or as at-home in his life, than when he's beside Spock. It's like the whole universe falls into place as long as Spock's shoulder is touching his, and he can feel the unnatural heat through his clothes. He'll be fine, FTW.

"Like it?" he asks, smiling into the corner of Spock's mouth, loving this feeling.

"It was not necessary," Spock says, voice tight, as he realises the implications.

"I know." And it's more than enough to make Spock kiss him with bruising pressure, enough to make him slide his arms around Jim's waist and settle there with this slow, seductive ease that makes Jim _crazy_, burning holes through Jim without burning the cloth on his body. The kiss, though fierce, is lazy, (because the kiss is long and slow) which is a weird contradiction in itself, but if anyone can pull it off, Spock can.

Their tongues battle it out, in the confines of their mouths, Spock's unnaturally hot, searing Jim with his constant flame. Jim waxes poetic as Spock sends him to a place where he has no name or body, and he is the pleasure itself and he is one with Spock.

As they lie there, thirst sated, bathing in the afterglow (and Spock's body-heat), Jim feels waves of gratitude washing over him, and knows its Spock. Its gratitude he's feeling, and love and peace and warmth, and confusion.

"It's not that big a sacrifice y'know, Spock. Not considering what I got in return," Jim says, not talking about the sex.

"I am aware. But it is the fact that I matter," he pauses, obviously uncomfortable and trying hard. "It is the fact that I matter enough for you to try something so out-of-character, and so obviously unnecessary, that warms me, and makes me wonder what I have done to earn such devotion."

And it is devotion, and the world knows it. But Spock's devoted right back, in his own way, and Jim hopes Spock knows he knows that. Spock is always there. He is there when no one else was. There at times when the world was crumbling around Jim, shaking him to his very foundations. Spock has always been behind him.

And Spock has made many sacrifices for Jim, to be with Jim. Spock thinks he doesn't know it, but he's wrong.

Jim knows how much pressure Spock faces from who-ever is left at home on New-Vulcan. He knows the social stigma of being sexually involved with a male on Vulcan. Forget what they must be doing to him for being involved with a _Human_ male. There is also the spaz jerk professor who had implied that Spock was ignoring his social duty by being with a man, when their population clearly needed replenishing. And Jim had restrained himself and not killed the guy, and Spock had clearly (well, you know what he meant) been torn up because he thought the guy was right.

It had taken a lot of convincing that Spock was free to do as he chose and not be bound by something like that, because it was the last they could demand from him in the name of social responsibility. It had taken even more time to convince Spock that he was worth it, and that no, being half human did not make him any less of a being than anyone else. And Jim had tried to ignore the very real possibility that Spock didn't want to be with him because logic dictated he should go forth and multiply and fill the universe with little Spocks (damn they'd be cute).

It was a pathetic sacrifice compared to everything Spock had done for him. And he wanted to. He _chose_ to. Because he loved Spock.

And oh god, the feeling that washed over him when he realised this was an amazing mix of terror, fear, awe, incredulity and just plain undiluted joy. He also realised that he would never be able to make level-headed decisions about Spock from now on. Thank goodness people were used to it.

And Spock continued to encourage Jim to consume meat but Jim remained fixed on his position, maintaining that all his dietary needs had been taken care of.

It was worth it, in the end. That small sacrifice that lead Spock to realize that Jim was serious about this, and that his sacrifices were noted, and appreciated. Because some things worked that way. Like them. They worked pretty damn well, Jim thought as he fell asleep, not for the first or last time, on Spock's shoulder.

Yes, yes, I know the tenses are so fucked up it's not funny. But I hope you enjoyed it. I really do. I hope ya'll can forgive me for the utter cheese in this. I had an idea and my MO is to beat around the bush until it stands still, then I beat it to a pulp. This bush was particularly violent and wouldn't stand still, _damn_it. I meant it to be a 100 word drabble, maybe. About Jim giving up meat so kissing him would be funner for Spock. Eh. This is the final product. Oh wells.

Either way, I've decided to send out a challenge.

_Write a fic (however long you want) about how Jim gives up something for Spock. Cue: fluff. _

Anyone who responds to this, please lemme know! I wanna read it! hopefully people can come up with shit better than this one. Speaking of which, let me know how bad (good?) it was. REVIEW!

Gods like to see an atheist around. Gives 'em something to aim at.

Love,  
Lady Merlin

P.S. My presentation went pretty well, thanks loads to everyone who wished me well. Your wishes warm my heart!  
also, ThePurringTribble, yeah! PM me and we'll talk trek! :)


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